Callin' It Quits

I'm not going to be writing about every game I haven't played in my Steam library anymore. 

The main reason is that I really don't like a lot of these games. It turns out there was a reason a lot of these games weren't played. Whether it's genre, production, story, gameplay, whatever, there was always something that turned me off. I was hoping to find some hidden gems, but I've mostly found games I'm really good at complaining about. Finding an interesting angle on a lot of these has been a slog, and most of my reviews feel extremely negative. I, like most people, just like a very specific subset of games.

The second reason is that I'm not playing a lot of new games, and not writing them either. Since I started work on this series I've been keeping track of all the games I want to play, both free and those that cost money. The list is currently at 25 games, and is growing every day. I still plan on playing at least half an hour of my whole Steam library, but writing about it takes too much time. Another side of the problem is that whenever I have ideas for writing about newer games I feel a sense of obligation to channel that energy into writing about my Steam library.

The third reason is that no one really cares. To be honest, I wouldn't care about these posts if I wasn't the one writing them, and traffic has shown this in its inverse-hockey-stick shape.

The good news is that the project has gotten me in the habit of writing (and that alone has made this whole project worthwhile). I was in such a rhythm that I actually got ahead of schedule. In the end I only got to posting about half of the writing I had done. What this rhythm means is that I plan to continue writing at least 500 words every Monday and Thursday for the foreseeable future. Development on my next game will be ramping up soon as well, so I'm sure I'll have lots to say on that.

So that's that. I know you're not too bummed out, and I'll leave you with my favorite of the unreleased reviews: my review of Counter-Strike: Condition Zero – Deleted Scenes.

 

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Imaginary Corporate Guy trying to sell my middle-school-self on Counter-Strike: Condition Zero Deleted Scenes.

Corporate Guy: Hey kid, you like Counter-Strike?

Me: ARE YOU F-ING JOKING I F-ING LOVE COUNTER-STRIKE

CG: Oh yeah? Well then boy do I have the game for you.

M: WHAT IS IT I LOVE COUNTER STRIKE JUST TELL ME WHAT IT IS I WILL DO ANYTHING

CG: Well you know how Counter-Strike's graphics suck?

M: COUNTER-STRIKE COUNTER-STRIKE COUNTER-STRI-wait, what? Yeah, I mean I guess they're not great. But who cares?

CG: Well they suck! That's bad! It's right in the word! Suck!

M: Uh...

CG: Anyways, that's not the important thing. You know what Counter-Strike's been missing?

M: ... I dunno, I mean I guess now that I think about it it's pretty perfect the way it is ...

CG: SINGLE-PLAYER! M-F-ING SINGLEPLAYER!! ... (Is your mom home? Can I swear?)

M: Uh...

CG: You know all those times you were like, "man I really wish this game had single player"?

M: Um, no I don-

CG: SHUT UP JUST LISTEN. Here's what we'll do. We'll drop you into a shitty ass middle-eastern-stereotype-as-conceived-in-the-mind-of-an-eight-year-old with no explanation. Listen. Are you listening? Okay, listen. Here it comes. Then, we put some shitty AI everywhere, and YOU go to town.

M: Wait, but what about all the things I love about Counter-Strike?

CG: NO YOU'RE NOT LISTENING THIS IS COUNTER-STRIKE

M: But wait CS is about knowing a map, knowing the best spots to hide, guessing where the enemies are, listening carefully to footsteps, trying to be one step ahead of the enemy's plans, knowing gun spray patterns because when you encounter an enemy you have only a split second to best them, goofing around with friends, playing other clans, going on a streak, frustrating the other team, and...

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CG: Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, video games. I get it. Shut up.

M: Listen, I really love Counter-Strike. In fact, it's probably fair to say that I'm addicted to it. I mean, my family went on vacation for a week and I barely survived watching the same frag video I saved to the family laptop four times a day. I will play Counter-Strike forever. It's the perfect game. But taking a game and making a different version of it without anything that's good about it carrying over just doesn't make sense. You're just going to make people mad. It feels unfair, like you're trying to trick me just because I liked something you made.

CG: WHATEVER THIS GAME IS HAPPENING IT'S TOO LATE.

M: Listen, Counter-Strike is not a game about experiencing a story or being alone. It's about winning against other people. Counter-Strike has no context that makes sense in any single player game. There are terrorists and there are counter-terrorists. No one cares why/what the terrorists are trying to bomb. It's not about that. It's about winning against other humans. Trying to make a single player experience with semblances of single player plot/context is like trying to make a single player experience out of real-life football. Like, you walk onto the field and there are a bunch of footballs spread all over the place and you can kind of just walk around and throw them as far as you can. It doesn't matter where, you just throw them. That's what a single player CS experience is like. Okay cool throwing a ball feels pretty good, but that's not what football is about. Football is about the crowd, it's about caring that you win, it's about proving your superiority over others, it's about making something go your way while an entire team of other people is trying to stop you from doing that exact thing. That's what Counter-Strike is.

CG: ...

M: So... do we have to talk much longer? I kinda wanna play Counter-Strike some more.